‘This particular carriage,’ Kathleen announced, ‘Is known as ‘The Victoria.’ It is one of the most elegant of all carriages and it was extremely popular among well-to-do families. It is thought that the design originated in England in the middle of the 19th century. ’ Kathleen curved her fingers into quote marks, ‘ The Victoria could be horsed by either a single or a pair. It has only one seat for two passengers, often a man and a woman. Ah, but wait, I see a pair of two such individuals now.’ Kathleen held out one enormous hand and beckoned to my father, ‘Come sir, your carriage awaits.’
‘Oh, no,’ my father said, ‘No, I-‘
‘Climb aboard,’ Kathleen insisted. My father stepped into the vehicle and sat down. The carriage heaved unsteadily under his weight.
‘Ma’lady?’ Kathleen gestured toward K.C. I snorted, and K.C., who, despite her amazing breasts, shoulder length hair, and silver hoop earrings, is routinely mistaken for a man (and quite happy about it), looked pained. Obediently, she climbed into the carriage.
‘Ahhh,’ Kathleen ejaculated, ‘Isn’t that a sight. What a happy couple.’ I locked eyes with my girlfriend.
‘You will pay,’ she mouthed.
You want to read the whole thing.