5:10pm EST-The Net (Reuters)
Local poster Parallax is wed to an Idaho grown Carrot today. The Christian world is shaken to it's foundations. The state, normally known for it's tubors, issued a statement denouncing the carrot's decision, just to distance themselves from the whole affair. When asked about the decision, the carrot declined comment. Parallax however is quoted as saying "My Carrot and I are very happy supporting terrorism and not waving flags thank you very much."
This statement confirms Rumsfeld and Cheney's allegations that people who are happy support terrorism. In related events, Democrats inadvertently elect Adolf Hitler as President of the United States of America as part of their "Anyone But Bush" campaign.