Rules for Walking through Times Square (especially for tourists)
1. Let go of your SO's hand. One would think this would be obvious because it makes it difficult to walk holding hands when there are 597203737183837 other people on the sidewalk, but people are stupid.
2. Let your kid off the dog leash. Not only is this annoying for trying to walk around, but it is also dehumanizing. Teach your children to think, don't train them to obey. It's especially upsetting when seeing it at 10 p.m. with horrible parents dragging their groggy 4-year-olds around.
3. Choose your picture-taking spot wisely. Do not stop in the middle of a crowded sidewalk and expect everyone to stop walking because you are taking a fucking picture. People have places to go and will walk right through your wannabe photo op. Times Square has this particularly nifty island in the middle of the street that has much less traffic than the sidewalks - take the picture there.
4. Watch your cigarette. Maybe these people just have never been on a crowded street, but it's not ok to flail your cigarette about, no matter how heated the conversation you are having, when there is an excellent chance you will burn one of the thousands that are sharing the sidewalk with you. It's best to keep it in front of you where you can monitor it rather than to the side of you where someone could swoop by and knock off your cherry.
5. Pretend you are driving. When you decide to stop, pull over into the breakdown lane first. It is very possible that stopping short in the middle of the sidewalk will cause a pile-up...dumbass. Also, if you are turning a certain way, it is best to get to that side of the sidewalk so that you don't have to try and walk perpendicular to everyone else.