Do you remember when you had your mother drag you to the doctor simply because your "arm felt twitchy?" And surely you recall spending hours fretting over whether or not it was "just a mole." Of course it was "just a mole," but you knew better, didn't you. You knew that mole could also mean "brain-sucking evil plotting to take over the world." Those were your exact words, weren't they? Why, just tonight you were convinced that your throat was "closing up because it is infested with a malevolent fungus." Yes, Rainlights, we are very impressed with your record. It is with great pleasure that we welcome you into our jittery fold. (That is, if you haven't croaked yet.)
The Society of Hypochondriacs
P.S. You did look up hypochondriac, didn't you? That's our girl.
P.P.S. That spot on your ankle looks suspicious. We think you should get it checked out.
P.P.P.S. And aren't you feeling a bit dizzy?
The ever-hysterical rainlights.