Was listening to someone on the Today programme this morning talking about Tony (yeah, we're on first-name basis now) getting floured in the Commons. Apprently something along those lines happened to an MP in Norwich years ago - "he was listening to a presbyterian vicar talking about something at great length and, while he was listening, someone came up behind him and defecated on his head".
Nice thing to wake you up in the morning. Would be convinced it was a dream but I don't normally dream about Radio 4.
Also, am rather concerned about the poor chap who was actually doing the defecating. I mean, it's a public place, you're obviously going to be a bit nervous. Wouldn't it be awful if you were trying to do a poo on the guy's head and you had a sudden and very embarrassing bout of constipation? And how did he get into an appropriate position without any of the congregation noticing? Was it, like, stealth shitting or something? The mind boggles.