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On this episode of Mythbusters: Do geeks make better boyfriends?
Futurama Trekkies, Virgins, Trekkies
mandydax wrote in metaquotes
damncutekitty busts the top six myths:

Myth #1: Shy + nerdy= Nice
Nice guys come in all shapes and sizes. They come from all races, backgrounds and socio-economic statuses. There is no magical equation for nice. It's just something in a person's nature. Being shy does not automatically make a person nice anymore than being confident makes them a jerk.

Myth #2: Geeks are more romantic
This one is laughable at best. I've dated a lot of geeky guys, and none of them were particularly romantic. The most romantic lover I've ever had was a "jock".

Myth #3: Geeks are low maintenance
Supposedly geek guys make great boyfriends because they can subsist on pizza, Mt Dew, and your affection. Just wait until you meet one who will ONLY eat pizza and maybe 3-4 other foods, like some sort of overgrown five year old. It took me nearly a decade to get my computer programmer ex husband to eat salad. My Star Wars obsessed ex boyfriend could not be taken to nice restaurants because he refused to wear anything except ripped jeans and nerdy tees and would not eat anything he could not pronounce. LOW MAINTENANCE MY ASS.

Context will test whether geeks cheat, make better lovers, and appreciate women after this commercial break. (SPOILER: They do, don't, and don't.)

If the girl I was dating was bizarrely fixated on me eating a salad, it wouldn't take me ten years to dump her sorry ass.

It's not about the freaking salad. It's about the fact that your partner of 10 years MIGHT have different tastes than yours and would love to share them with you in the hopes that you might also enjoy them, only to be continually rebuffed with the implication that their tastes are worthless because the other person doesn't care for them.

And even if it is about the freaking salad, is it really such a giant goddamn imposition to eat a couple of leafy vegetables from time to time?

I would also guess that she used salad as an example because, as foods go, salad is fairly harmless and most people eat it. Kind of like saying "it took me ten years to get him to eat bread." Plus eating salad, even if you don't like it, is not much of a sacrifice (I say that as someone who is not a salad eater). Plus, it's really easy to prepare, so if you're doing the cooking, making a salad is much easier than coming up with another vegetable dish, a lot of the time. Which is why, whenever I'm home, I assure my mother I am happy to eat salad now, because I don't want her to feel obligated to go shopping for something else.

Heck, even I, a great fan of meat (and cheese, and pasta, and more meat please), have been known to enjoy a nice Caesar or Cobb salad now and then - as well as veggies on my sandwich, etc.

I'm also lazy, so I don't cook much or buy fresh vegetables for myself (they'd just go bad before I got around to them), but if it's just mixing romaine and stuff together or if someone else is making it, sure.

"It's about the fact that your partner of 10 years MIGHT have different tastes than yours and would love to share them with you in the hopes that you might also enjoy them"

I do find it a bit suggestive of the partner being awkward but those expectations don't sounds all that common sense to me.

It's definitely nice to have similar-ish tastes in food so that when I cook then I can make something we're both like. It's also easier if they're 'not fussy' because that means I can cook pretty much what I like.

However, I'm okay with them not enjoying something I like. I've dated people who hate cucumber despite the fact I like it and, whilst it was a shame not to put in the salad, it's not some tragedy that I can't share my like of cucumber with them. Heck, I was once involved with someone who apparently didn't like ice cream... I love ice cream but if they don't, well, I guess I'll eat it by myself then :oD

Meanwhile, I don't like mushrooms. If it's in my food, I'll eat around them but I'm not going to eat something I don't enjoy just so someone else can 'share the experience' with me (I'm not sure it's the same experience anyway if they're enjoying it and I'm hating it).

I've dated people into BDSM despite being vanilla myself and we worked around it, I'm sure I could work around someone not liking salad and liking mushrooms :o)

I was using the salad as a larger metaphor for how there should be some give and take in a relationship but okay.

Is it really unreasonable to hope that if I said "Hey, I (made this thing you don't normally eat/am doing this thing you don't normally do), would you like to try it with me?" my partner would go "Hey, sure, I'll try that".

If I know that I won't like something, I won't eat it just to please a partner. I'd find it unreasonable for them to expect me too.

I'm not really sure what anyone gains out of me eating things that I don't like.

If it wasn't something I specifically disliked but instead just 'didn't normally eat' then sure. There are lots of things I wouldn't cook or buy for myself but would happily eat if someone had taken the time to prepare it. There are also things that I dislike and just plain won't eat.

"I've tried salads. I don't like them." "WHY DON'T YOU LOOOOVE MEEEEEE???"

Yeah. Real stable.

I mean, seriously. Pop Quiz.

"I don't like salads."

Which of these is the response of a Crazy Person?

1.) "Oh? Well, okay."
2.) "Great, more for me!"
3.) "Really? How strange. Well, how's the steak?"
4.) "I will wage a ten-year campaign of constant harassment until you eat that salad because I see it as a metaphor for our love!"

If you're so far gone that you can't stand to let another human being have autonomy over what they put into their own bodies, you're doing it wrong.

If you really think she's talking about a ten year reign of terror and constant nagging to eat a bowl of unadorned lettuce, you may want to lower the contrast setting on your worldview a bit.

She thought it was important enough to make him 'high maintenance', so... yeah, crazy.

I mean, seriously. Pop Quiz.
"My husband had terrible eating habits."

Which of these is the response of a Crazy Person?

1. "Wow, that would make dining stressful, as well as be detrimental to his health and appearance over time."

2. "OMG you bitchwhore how dare you not want your husband to stuff his face with cheetos every day! Tyranny!"

Sadly, that's not a reasonable inference from the way she said it. And even if she meant to say 'healthy foods' instead of salads, she's still not his mother, and should have dropped the issue. The definition of insanity is repeating the same action, again and again, expecting a different outcome.

Suck it up Buttercup.

It's a salad. I highly doubt the op spent 3,650 days of her and her ex's time going "EAT IT. EAT IT YOU PUSSY."

I'm more inclined to think she offered, or asked rather than become Mombot 5000 and demand he choke down some spinach and romaine.

Personally, I have a food comfort zone, but I like to try new foods from time to time. I'd rather have a partner that would try starfruit or strange sounding Thai food with me than one who would never deviate from pepperoni pizza and Mt. Dew.

Seems to be a big deal to her.

I'm Aspergers and even I try new foods every so often. A good amount of the time I don't like them, but I do try! And sometimes I even find a new favorite food.

And now I really want Pad Thai.

one of my best internet friends is Aspergers, and she's learning the fun amazing world of cooking. She loves to tell me about the new foods she's trying.

and points for at least trying it. that's kind of how i developed a taste for brussel sprouts. tried them once didn't like them.... tried them again a few years later hey they're pretty yummy.

Oh okay so you didn't even bother with trying to understand the point I was trying to make.

I understand that unless you're half-salad on your mother's side, your partner's choice of side dish is not cause for emotional distress under any circumstances.

Okay, let's change the context slightly:

Normal Person: You should totally try a salad. It's good for you and tastes nice!
Five Year Old: NO! I don't wanna!
Normal Person: Why not?
Five Year Old: It looks yucky!
Normal Person: I'm just saying you should broaden your horizons! Try something new!
Five Year Old: But I hate it and I wanna have pizza!
Normal Person: Um...no?
Five Year Old: BUT I WANNA!
Normal Person: We've had pizza for dinner every night for the last week! It's not good for you, it's not good for me, it's boring, it's plain, and it never hurts to try something new! Come on, it tastes good!
Five Year Old: NO!

Now imagine having that conversation at least once a week for ten years with somebody old enough to say 'want to' rather than 'wanna' and try telling me that that's not high maintenance or emotionally draining.

You jump to so many conclusions here, you ought to audition for Circe du Soliel.

Assumption 1: Because Bob doesn't want to eat salad, that means he thinks everyone's taste is "worthless".
Is that how you think? That any tastes you don't share are worthless?
Because in the real world, people don't think like that.

Assumption 2: That Bob has never EVAR eaten salad before, and it's a whoooooole neeew wooooorld for him.
You want the most likely situation?
He had actually EATEN SALAD before she entered his life!
And, egads... he didn't like it then.

So why would he start magically liking it now, just because she does?

There is this thing called an analogy, you may wish to investigate the principles behind its existence as a rhetorical device.

"Is that how you think? That any tastes you don't share are worthless?"

... You said something about jumping to conclusions, what was that again?

She said that he was a picky eater and it took her a long time to get him to eat a salad; I'm really not sure how you're getting that she was by any means "bizarrely fixated"?

"High maintenance" is a relative concept. If your boyfriend wants to share a wide range of foods with you and you are a picky eater, you're high maintenance to each other in that respect. If you both have similar dietary preferences, you are probably low maintenance to each other in that respect, regardless of how fussy you are. In this case they both had divergent dietary preferences (and she likely had legitimate concerns about his health), so they were not a good match in this sense.