Metaquotes

LJ's Catch of the Day- Served Fresh Daily!!

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
In which guppiecat explains sex to paleoanthropologists...
watcher
dafydd wrote in metaquotes
Quoth guppiecat:

I just saw another article drift across my RSS stating "Humans and Neanderthals interbred". Of course, last year, I saw two articles stating the opposite. The year before, there was a mix of articles on both sides of the fence. It's gotten to the point where I think that this is the anthropological equivalent to the oscillating nutritional view of eggs and butter.

So I wish to propose an alternate theory.

1) Evolution works well because sex feels good.
2) In order for sex to mix up genes and benefit evolution, folks have to try new stuff.
3) People can be pretty inventive.
4) 100,000 years is a long time.
5a) It is inconceivable that, in 100,000 years, absolutely no humans developed Neanderthal fetishes.
5b) There were probably also fern fetishes, neat-shaped rock fetishes and (short lived) sabre tooth tiger fetishes.
6) Therefore, throughout the course of human (pre)history, just like today, everybody got themselves a bit of nookie... and their neighbors probably thought that they were weird.

===

The Rule 34 of Anthropology, QWP from a locked post...

So true. Seriously, if Neanderthals existed today there'd be people that'd do them. And fetish porn about it on the internet. And whatever the Neanderthal version of Wing-fic is. So why would our ancestors be more picky than we are?

Hold on while I dredge up some Geico Caveman Rule 34...

which is scary because I went to college with the original actor...

I am now imagining the Usenet group alt.sex.neat-shaped.rocks.

alt.homo.sapiens.neanderthalensis.ug.ug.ug

Edited at 2010-04-30 11:10 pm (UTC)

Shouldn't that be:
alt.homo.sapiens.neanderthalensis.zug.zug.zug

True, but years before the Orcs started saying "Zug Zug," it was used in the movie Caveman, staring Ringo Starr. "Zug Zug" meant sexual activities.

Oh god, I think I saw that. I'd blanked it out, apparently.

Your're welcome, I think.

oakdragon

2010-05-03 03:20 pm (UTC)

I saw one sign that Blizzard was must likely fully aware of the connection yesterday. I was running my Tauren through the Children's Week activities. When clicked, one of the things the Orc Orphan sais is "What does 'Zug, Zug' mean?" It made me think of the way kids can pick up on adult phrases and ask for an explanation, much to the discomfort of the adult. ;-)

Am now thinking there needs to be some Neanderthal/sapiens slash fiction. Complete with a neat-shaped rock fetish for those Venus of Willendorf statues. While being hunted down by a rabid pack of smilodons.

I thought it was already done.

oakdragon

2010-04-30 11:27 pm (UTC)

Clan of the Cave Bear, anyone? Of course, there wasn't much HN/HS in that one.

Re: I thought it was already done.

seekingnevada

2010-05-03 08:22 am (UTC)

Yeah, this came to my mind as well...

Re: I thought it was already done.

orbitaldiamonds

2010-05-06 03:06 pm (UTC)

Ya beat me to it. Well done. :)

Kind of already exists. Check out the Neanderthal Parallax trilogy by Robert Sawyer. Humans, Hominids, and Hybrids are the titles of the three books I believe.

It's not explicit, (un?)fortunately.

Really? I remember it being fairly explicit - just not pron levels explicit.

Am now thinking there needs to be some Neanderthal/sapiens slash fiction.

Wasn't that pretty much what "Quest for Fire" was?

Of course, the questions are whether they were ever in the same place at the same time (can't have a fetish for something you have no experience of), and if so, whether they were capable of interbreeding (which is why New Zealand still has only a marginal sheepman population).

And for gratuitous bestiality references, I am deducting 9 million points.

Which is okay, because you [gwalla] won 11 million for the sheepman community images you planted in my head.

can't have a fetish for something you have no experience of

So what are we calling all that elf/human, orc/human, dragon/human, etc stuff on Deviantart (or Y-gallery or Mediaminer or whatever)?

I'm counting experience with a concept, not just, you know, meeting one in person.

I don't think capability of interbreeding comes into it.

... And they met on the Documentary Channel ('we're nothin' but mammals').

*dies from laughter and awesomeness*

"and (short lived) sabre tooth tiger fetishes."

Prehistoric furries probably didn't live quite as long.

Everyone wore fur back then.

if lions & tigers can get it on once in a while and make a liger, i'm sure neanderthals & cro-magnons bred.

Totally logical. People of olde get really bored, really fast, and will try anything to alleviate that.

Sorry got nothing to say relevant to the quote. But that's a Watchers Icon!

I haven't seen a Watcher's Symbol in *years*!!!

Right there with you! I miss my Watcher Academy t-shirt :)