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LJ's Catch of the Day- Served Fresh Daily!!

True Facts: Canine Edition.
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This hit-and-run gem comes from another of dochermes' anonymice:

Due to its extreme, uncontrollable hyperactivity and erratic behavior that frequently includes unprovoked, savage attacks on anyone within reach, the meth lab is one of the most unpopular breeds of all time. That's one pooch that will never be shown at Westminster.


Context brings us a still from Nightmare at the Museum.

Do you suffer the heartbreak of Mousie-Blah Face Fur?
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An anonymouse over at dochermes' informs us that now there's a solution:

During a full moon, I used to be embarrassed going out and stalking prey because my pelt just didn't seem as lustrous and shiny as it could be.

Now, when a terrified motorist screeches to a halt in the middle of a deserted country road because he sees me in his headlights crouched over a dead deer, I no longer feel self-conscious.

I think this is the stuff Don Imus uses.


Context proves that the folks at Wacky Packages had paranormal romance's back before it was a thing.

How to blow a cat's mind in one easy step
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tacit has gifted his cat, Beryl, with not one, but TWO boxes. It's like kitty xmas. (cut for length)Collapse )

QWP, a little late, but still excellent.

Would you be mine, could you be mine, won't you be my hater?
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A typo in a Sherlock fanfic amuses drawlight_jimmy:

I'm guessing since this is a post S3 fic you meant 'former' but having Moriarty referred to as Sherlock's 'formal enemy' did make me laugh.

I'm not sure which image I like better Sherlock and Moriarty fighting each other in tuxes or sending engraved formal invitations to become each other's nemesis.


Thereby prompting honorh to compose Moriarty's formal proposal of arch-enmity:

My Dear Sherlock Holmes,

I have admired your work from afar for many years, having not had the occasion to make your acquaintance. Upon my oath, however, I find I can no longer wait for a formal introduction. I must throw all caution to the winds and speak from my heart. Would you do me the honour of being my archnemesis?

Very Truly Yours,

Moriarty


Context dons its best Sunday Fighting Trousers.

"It's the Oncoming Storm, Charlie Brown!"
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Snoopy: aviator; star athlete; bon vivant--and, as jimhines reveals, far more:

Proposal: Snoopy is actually a Time Lord. Probably the Doctor.

Evidence:

1. Snoopy was first sighted on Earth in October of 1950, and was around for far longer than any known beagle. Also, his appearance changed over time. (But he’s always been a white male!)

2. His dog house is canonically bigger on the inside.

3. And it flies. (Though it doesn’t always take him where he intended to go.)

4. He is known to have traveled in space.

5. He has a companion, one he understands and communicates with despite their different languages. (TARDIS translation circuit?)

6. He owned a Van Gogh. (The link between Van Gogh and the Doctor has been well-established.)

7. He's been known to wear bow ties.

Conclusion: Time Lord!


gehayi offers further corroborative evidence:

He's also traveled in time and participated in at least one Earth war. And he has a working-class female companion who strongly resembles someone he knows in a different timeline (the waitress in WWI France and Marcie).

And there's even a quote (from February 15, 1958) that suggests Snoopy's regeneration went wrong.

"Yesterday I was a dog...today I am a dog...tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. *sigh* There's so little hope for advancement!"

Er...probably still be a dog? What aren't you telling us, Snoopy?


(The context is profusely illustrated, including this fanart from Keiron O'Gorman.)

Why Life is Not Like a Role-Playing Game
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jimhines meditates on how real life differs from RPGs:
Game Master (GM): When you try to print out your document, you find that the color printer is jammed. What do you do?
Random Computer User from 4th Floor (RCU): I open up the printer to see if I can find the paper.
GM: (Makes a few dice rolls) You see a bit of white trapped among the ink cartridges and the fuser. I’d like to remind you that you don’t have the Repair Printer skill.
RCU: I’ll use my intelligence statistic. I grab the fuser and yank it out.
GM: (Rolls the dice) You burn yourself.
RCU: I try again.
GM: (Rolls his/her eyes) You sustain two points of damage, but you finally get the fuser out.
RCU: I yank the paper out.
GM: (Makes another die roll) It tears, leaving an inaccessible strip of paper jammed in the fuser. You also notice that there’s two more sheets of paper jammed in the printer, one on the right side, and one beneath the ink cartridges.
RCU: Can I cast “Summon Computer Technician”?
GM: Make your spellcasting roll.
Context decided to cast Healing on the printer instead. QWP.

In which Rule 34 is invoked - and what happens when that occurs...
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shiv5468 has written a little scene where the rules of Internet Porn are applied.

"You don't even know what we want you do do." The Second Prefect pouted.

"Don't need to," Hermione said. "Not after the last time. It took me ages to get the mess out of my hair, Severus had back ache for weeks, and Lucius could barely face a cucumber sandwich without twitching. No. More."

Context is that someone enjoys having sex in cow slurry

Not safe for work. More for laughing than anything else.

The fool's reproach is a kingly title.
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kosaginolegion finds John Scalzi to be a useful Early Authorbrattery Warning System:

You know, while I enjoy the "Old Man's War" series, I'm beginning to think that Scalzi's greatest service to me as a reader is his way of attracting the hate and loathing of writers whom I will never ever want to read.
In other words, yet another for the "Boy am I glad I never bothered to crack open this guy's books."


Context? Scalzi won a Hugo; John Ringo disapproves.

We could be heroes, just for one night.
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Courtesy of woogledesigns, a poetic Vertigo/DC plotbunny:

One for Sandman fans: I had a dream of Morpheus, who saw an invasion of earth that would go through the dreaming to reach target. Morpheus, who foresaw the plan even as it was being dreamt up by the aliens, was obligated to mount a defense. He recruited two sleeping Green Lanterns, one of Alan Scott of Earth and one Tomar-Re. Morpheus himself possessed a Green Lantern ring, old and dark, the first design imagined by an Oan, but abandoned for the more powerful matrixes in use in reality. Morpheus used the perception-shifting power of dreams to show the earth as it was seen perpendicular to the 3 dimensional plane, myriad and honeycombed spaces. This split the invasion force, so when they landed throughout Earth's 3 dimensional plane they were scattered into groups. The trio were easily able to target and dispose of the groups.

But the invasion force was millions upon millions and it was a massive task. To occupy the force while the Lanterns got to them the lord dreamer recruited the world's heroes to fight the invaders: Batman imagined himself a pirate and then a knight and then a 20's B-Reel adventurer, in each case dispatching the aliens in their different guises across different places and times. But the Super-powered were not the most noteworthy or triumphant of the day. The people who imagined themselves heroes were the most powerful, while Superman dreamt of being farmboy in Kansas little boys with big imaginations strode as giants from battlefield to battlefield.

In the end the night was won, but- as is the way with dreams- not enough people remembered the great battle of the Earth's dreams for even Bruce Wayne's great detective skills to corroborate the casual reports of dreams of fighting the following morning.


(The context was itself a gift to Woogle from Morpheus.)

The post is admittedly several years old...
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...but woogledesigns' thoughts on the nature (and very existence) of Doctor Who canon deserve to be shared:

Here's what I think: The Doctor remembers every Doctor Who story ever told. Every episode, target book, comic strip and every game of companions and TARDISes you played as a kid. The universe he lives in has no record of it, because paradoxes and divergent dimensions and the time war have reset things. But the Doctor remembers and sometimes when he is sad it's because you've stopped being 8 years old and he can't run around the school playground with you anymore.

Context proceeds to kick around the Timey-Wimey Calvinball.